GOD rules MY life ! This is my Testimony =)

Something I have to share with everyone .... :)

2008-12-18T00:36:00.000-08:00

"This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles", Psalm 34:6 NIV
Since He has done amazing things--that only He could do--it would be very wrong for me to keep silent. Honour should be given when honour is due, and I give honour to Him today.
It can only be God.
If God is faithful to us, who are we to lose faith in ourselves? Who are we to give up? We’ve been endowed with imagination and wisdom and we have the ability to trust; things have worked out in the past and they’ll work out for us again in the future.
I grew up never feeling my mother's favour, unless I did something to please her. This confusion about love spilled over into my relationship with God and developed into a compulsion to please and serve the Lord in an effort to win God's love. Eventually my quest for love was satisfied when illness brought me to a weakened place where the only thing I could do was receive the love of God.
Ephesians 2:8-9: "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God--not the result of works, so that no one may boast." (NRSV)
My upbringing, however, was often characterized by trying to please my mother, who seemed to favour my brother. My father was loving towards me, but somewhat distant toward my brother. In some ways, our family was similar to the biblical family of Jacob and Esau, where each parent had their "favourite." This situation created in me a deep insecurity and confusion about love. Whereas I didn't have to "work" for my father's love (he loved me whether or not I was achieving something positive), my mother seemed to like me only when I did something to please her, like helping her clean the house or score well in my examinations. I often felt liked by my mother when I pleased her but I didn't feel loved by her. I loved the Lord and knew in my mind he loved me and sent his son, Jesus Christ, to shed his blood for me that I would be forgiven of my sins and receive eternal life. Yet, whenever my life didn't quite work out as I had wanted, I sometimes doubted God's love for me. As a result, I tried to do more, work more, to try and be more pleasing to God, so that I would win his love and approval. However, I never felt completely free to be me. When I wasn't giving to others, I often felt lonely and driven to do more. In addition, I gave up running to study at home so that I could score well in my examinations. I was still unconsciously trying to win her love and approval. What was the result? I was a catholic teenager with a broken heart and a bitter spirit.
Not long ago I became ill and was hospitalized for almost two months. During my hospital stay, I had to depend on nurses, doctors, and others to care for me as I slept most of the time. Lying in my hospital bed, weakened physically and mentally, I immersed myself in God's Word by reading My Daily Bread which my friend Manuela lent me and nothing else. I also listened to music from my MP3 player to calm my mind because the doctor said I was too stressed up with my studies and everything going on in my life. I began to reflect on my life and the Holy Spirit gently revealed to me where I had forsaken my freedom in Christ, for the bondage of slavery to "works" and trying to please others. In the book of Galatians it states: "You who want to be justified by the law have cut yourselves off from Christ; you have fallen away from grace. For through the Spirit, by faith, we eagerly wait for the hope of righteousness." (Galatians 5:4-5, NRSV) I asked for God's forgiveness and I also forgave others. God granted me an outpouring of his love through calls, visits and cards from church members, friends, family, and even strangers. There were certain hospital care givers that showed me compassion and made up for those who lacked genuine concern. I felt God's love profoundly as I did nothing. And I felt the outpouring of his love and grace through others for whom I had done nothing!
As I celebrated the memory of the resurrection of Jesus Christ in my hospital room, my life was resurrected in Christ from within. I know in my heart, and not just in my mind, that we do nothing to earn God's love and his salvation. It is truly a gift from heaven.

Today, I am not just a servant of God, but a friend of God. I am also a child of God who is learning to be humble enough to ask God for help and to ask others for their help as well.
I still have some health issues to overcome, but I feel confident that the Holy Spirit is with me on this healing journey. Jesus promised never to leave me nor forsake me. I stand firm on his promises because God loves me. It is his nature to love you and me.

He is faithful! He works in ways that I can not explain so that the glory goes to Him! If you are in trouble, lift your eyes to Him, lift your voice to Him, and cry out for His help.

Here's the words of a poem I wrote, inspired by Psalm 78:72:
Give me an undivided heart, that I may walk in your path,Give me an undivided heart, and show the way.
Give me an undivided heart, that I may walk in your light,Give me an undivided heart, so I won't stray.
Give me an undivided heart, that I may walk in your love,Give me an undivided heart, my Lord, I pray.Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.Give me an undivided heart.

PRAISE THE LORD =)

One of God's Amazing work ! :)

2008-12-16T00:14:00.000-08:00

Victor is one of my group mates during my 20th YISS. Just 5 minutes ago I had conversation with him on MSN. Just before I came online,I was feeling very sad because I was thinking about what my mother did to me on Saturday. You see, my mother is not the kind of mother who can express her feelings very well. She is someone who is very hot-tempered! When I went online, like as if God knows how I am feeling, it seemed as if God sent Victor to chat with me. Victor by some miracle started this conversation below =)

Continue reading our conversation and be amazed by how God can work miracles in our lives.

[Victor's actual MSN nickname is ( VONG: hope that this flame will never burn out whee! =) ) But i edited it so that it is easier to see]

Victor says:
r u alright? =)

Cecilia says:
yeah...i guess..

Victor says:
mummu pressing too hard? =)

Cecilia says:
yup!

Victor says:
come on don have to suppress ur emotions. say it out ya hahaha =)

Cecilia says:
hahaha...... thats my problem

Cecilia says:
i write my problems out

Cecilia says:
i dont talk it out

Victor says:
hahaha =)

Cecilia says:
i dont know why but its just me

Cecilia says:
and my mum dont understand

Victor says:
then write to ur mummy?

Victor says:
=)

Cecilia says:
you know on Saturday while you all were at YISS my mum made me kneel down and raise my hands in the air in front of the altar until i say my problems out

Cecilia says:
and after 1 hour i said it out and guess what she was not satisfied

Cecilia says:
so she said i could only stand up and put my hands down when i shout my problems

Cecilia says:
only after 2hours then i could stand up

Cecilia says:
:'(

Cecilia says:
now my knees are like OMG! haix

Cecilia says:
haiz

Victor says:
relax =) relax =)

Victor says:
ur mum just ran out of patience i guess hah =0

Victor says:
=)*

Cecilia says:
yeah....

Victor says:
i think she loves u just that she find herself so helpless when she cant seems to get ur need =)

Victor says:
i sense her love for u but just that she really really felt really helpless hah =)

Cecilia says:
ohh

Victor says:
imagine the one that u love is being tortured infront of ur face and u r being pinned down just to watch this person being tortured and all u can do is to look

Victor says:
isn't that the same as how ur mum is feeling? she just wanna help but she cant get the message across on how to love u and how to embrace u. if she don care about u, she wouldn't have come out with this desperate attempt to hear u out isn't it

Victor says:
?

Victor says:
hahaha =) she loves u pal =)

Cecilia says:
yeah

Cecilia says:
thats true

Cecilia says:
=]

Cecilia says:
thanks :)

Victor says:
haha welcome! PRAISE GOD! hahaha =) His message for u hahaha =)

Cecilia says:
thanks!!!!!!!! :)

Victor says:
glad that u r happy now, say sry to ur mum and tell her u love her =) i bet the heart will b as happy aas urs =)

Cecilia says:
hahaha ok........ if i dare :/

Victor says:
the spirit burns in my heart shall burn in urs if u do that =) i am sure =) cause u went yiss too and u r now the instrument of His love =)

Cecilia says:
yeah....... but only half the camp though

Victor says:
haha =) don doubt God haha =) as long as u went for the healing, u got this heart to love haha =)

Cecilia says:
=] hahaha

Cecilia says:
yeah

Victor says:
Holy Spirit is living in u and the Holy Trinity is embracing u! =) do u believe in that?

Cecilia says:
100%

Victor says:
then go to ur mum and spread this good news! spread the love! haha =) doubt no more cause u r empowered by Him as long as u does His way

Victor says:
haha =)

Victor says:
AMEN!

Cecilia says:
AMEN!

Cecilia says:
Praise the Lord ! :)

Victor says:
cool ya =) i am happy for u =)

Cecilia says:
thanks :)

Victor says:
thank God =)

How Amazing is God ? ! ? !
He knew how I was feeling and sent someone to comfort me.
That is how great our God is!
Believe He exists and see how your life will be transformed by His works because He loves every single one of us!

YISS Roomies

2008-12-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

During my 20th YISS ,I met great and amazing people whom are now all friends to one another :) I know it was God's plan to make us roomies and I am happy that know one another :) These are people....my friends :) whom I will never forget. Starting clockwise from the door is Adeline , Beverly , Ophelia , Benedict , Alison , Kimberly and myself. I know that this friendship we have is something that I would treasure forever and I know they will too :) Praise the Lord for having made us from total strangers living at different parts of Singapore and from different churches now friends who will keep in contact :)

Praise to you Lord Jesus Christ!

How great is our God ?

2008-12-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

As I sit back and reflect on what some of my friends I met during my YISS said, I feel they are damn right. We have to always remember that we are NOT ALONE. God loves us as who we are and everything that has happened is definitely part of His plan for us because He created us, shaped us and brought us into this world. Nothing can happen to us without His consent. Really...Really..trust that He will guide you through your ordeals and trust that He has a great plan for you in the future. Always remember that we are here on Earth for a reason. Its just that we've yet to know the reason. Whenever you feel like your parents are punishing you and you are damn angry, don't take it that they are punishing you. Praise the Lord that had happened because nothing can happen without the Lord's consent. He wants us to surrender to Him. He loves us and really wants to heal us. It pains Him to see us struggling. He wants to carry our burdens for us but sometimes we refuse Him. So...try and let go...Let His love flow all over us. Let go for He says '' Come to me , all who are weary and heavily burdened for I will give you rest.'' Whatever burdens you have just give it all to God. He is there waiting for you. Imagine you are walking on a road carrying 10 heavy sacks all alone. The 10 heavy sacks are your burdens. God is at the side of the road watching you carrying it. It pains Him to see you suffer. He stretches out His hand to help you. The problem is that some of us are willing to let go and let God share the burden with us but sadly some of us are like me. We push God away and say that we will carry the 10 sacks ourselves because we dont believe anyone would help us....not even God. But believe me.I have been through it.Trust in God! He really exists! And He will really carry the burdens with you because His love is never ending. Trust in Him because I know God will never let you down because He never let me down eventhough I did things that hurt Him like trying to kill myself.

Praise the Lord!

About Myself

2008-12-15T00:53:00.000-08:00

To begin my very first post, I shall do a short introduction of myself. As you all know my name is Cecilia. I was brought into this world on 24/02/1992 so I am 16 years old this year and I am a Pisces. I am from Westwood Secondary School. My CCA is Choir (1st CCA) and Athletics (2nd CCA). I was suppose to take my O'level this year but sadly I was admitted into the hospital (NUH) during my O'level examination period. Why I was admitted?? Well...thats a long story. So anyway I will be back in Westwood next year to repeat the whole Sec 4 year once again. I should be feeling sad and saying to myself " Why me!?!? Why not others!?!?" but you know what! I shall not say that because God has His plan for me and me repeating my Sec 4 again is His plan and I shall not complain because I know He wants the best for me. He knows my future because He created me so come what may as I know my new found best friend , God , will always be there for me in my happy times and my bad times! I trust in Him and I know I have a bright future ahead waiting for me =)
Praise the Lord!